you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
