I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
