just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
