YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
