How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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