just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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