dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
