Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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