I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
