Capitaan dildo arrescate!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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