the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
