Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
sex in a hospital.. check
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
