I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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