Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
