you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
