toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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