Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
