so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
