every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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