I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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