New low: just hacked my moms facebook
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have feelings that need drinking.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
