Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
