I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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