i was born a porn star she said
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
