we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
