drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
