return my video game
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
