I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
