I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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