It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
