i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
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Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
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Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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