someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
