some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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