There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
