You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
