She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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