listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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