u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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