Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
