fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
