We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize