You kept calling me your small dog last night.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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