Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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