Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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