my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
