I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
