I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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