I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
