I got her a Nickelback box set.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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