so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
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i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
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Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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