So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
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