none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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