Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
