I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
