You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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