? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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