You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
