please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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