nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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