He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
