Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
