I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
