5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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