Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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