I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
